In Circle, We Stand
Friday November 11, I prepared my playbag for my Saturday afternoon class, “Rituals of Authentic Power Play” and frankly, I was not sure what I was going to do. It was so soon after the unexpected result of the elections. I was in shock. I made myself go to the venue where Surrender/Dark Odyssey had just started. I wanted to feel the general vibe of all these kinky folks in one downtown San Francisco hotel.
People seemed to have a good time focusing on “sampler” games offered “for science”; a bit of comedy, BDSM tastes were offered, and the samples were inviting: bondage, e-stim, sensory deprivation with sexy adds-on and much more. I mingled among the crowd and noticed many young people in all manner of costumes.
And yet I was not fooled. Distraction is distraction and we are all so good at it with the profusion of media around us all the time. I left, still unsure of what I could offer those who will attend my upcoming class. I like to be prepared and yet leave space for improvisation. Like I tell my students about scene dynamics, make a plan and be willing to let go of it. That’s where the magic is.
I embraced BDSM so many years ago and learned from our community pioneers. I know how our scene has grown and changed. I also know that our rituals have been essential to our survival through difficult times. They helped us keep our courage and sanity during the AIDS war.
And came Saturday afternoon; my 3 “bottoms”’ arrived on time, ready to embody a different flavor of erotic power play. It took me years to appreciate how roleplay opens doors to the very core of those who inhabit their role. I have Eve Minax to thank for that! Here was Mimi, my super smart sexy smart- ass masochistic french maid. She knows how to bring out my sadistic side with her teasingly sharp tongue, in french no less, and gorgeous attributes. Fun, humor and intense SM mix together well for us.
Properly paddled and chastised, she ushers in Curious George who confessed he was a cock sucking virgin and yes he was willing. He offered quite an enthusiastic mouth to sexy gender queer Blake right there in the Holiday Inn! I could feel the heat rise in the room …I ordered Mimi to disengage our “boy” from Blake’s and sit him down facing all attendees. His face was red, his eyes watering. Our eyes met. He was more than ok. He was turned on. Like he had shared in our negotiation, humiliation, submission and being witnessed was his cup of tea.
I wanted to go deep, not just kinky, not just hot! I took a deep breath, told Blake to remove their shirt and strap on. Looking up, I ask everyone to move their chairs to the side and stand in a circle holding hands. Authentic. In the moment. Energy shift; the circle is cast and we are in ritual space.
Running energy for healing and release through piercings under tension is a ritual I have led for many groups. Blake and I stood in the middle of the circle as I pierced 2 sterile needles on her upper chest and ran an autoclaved cord around the corked needles. We faced each other. She pulled on the cord. I hold the loop tight. She almost instantly became the instrument, the focus point of the ritual.
The group coalesced, chanting, clapping hands, screaming their fears, calling for love…
So maybe I am a dreamer, and a fighter, and an advocate, but I am not the only one…..
Thanks to all of you who participated and sent emails and fetlife messages of how much you needed that work. We kinksters have many tools. May we remain strong in these next 4 years.
I do not celebrate Thanksgiving. May yours be peaceful.
PS:The Erotic Dominance Intensives have been announced for 2017 on www.sm-arts.com . Applications welcome.