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Remembering The Future…

…where it all comes together!  At the Citadel for an evening with newcomers to kink, my 50 shades or rather, brilliant colors of real BDSM class is about to start. As I look at my audience’s inquisitive faces, I see how the pieces of my own energetic puzzle fit together. No, this was not going to be another technique presentation. It’s not what we do, it’s HOW we do it!  And WHY.  Their journey is like mine, full of intense desire for eroticism and intimacy.  I can tell by the way couples are holding hands.  And I remember my ride.

c playland

With Suicide Club Members circa 1980

Before I came into BDSM I was drawn to the wild side, a real rebel: passionate and adventurous.  New to San Francisco, I joined the Suicide Club, founded by angel-faced Gary Warne. He was my downstairs neighbour and wanted to have sex with me. I made one condition. “You can, if you are willing to climb on the fire escape, open my bedroom window and be an aggressive lover.”  Oh yes?  He said, “ok, if that’s what you really want.” … a night not to forget!

GorillaGrotto-coverGary was an adventurer with great style. As you can see in Wikipedia and elsewhere, he taught at the Communiversity in San Francisco, part of the Free School Movement. In 1979, he created the Gorilla Grotto, an adult play environment and storefront cafe where that first public SM talk by Kat Sunlove I told you about took place. And after that night, my life was never the same again.  The Club, though secretive during its lifespan, influenced many cultural and artistic endeavors. Cacophony Society  was founded by ex-Suicide Club members in 1986. Burning Man  was influenced by Cacophony and many former Club members were “crucial organizers” in the early days of Black Rock City. I loved these early playa gatherings of artists and freaks!  The “leave no trace” mantra of Burning Man was always Gary’s philosophy!

We also agreed that our urban adventures should not be undertaken alone because of the risks inherent to trespassing on city properties to create a playground for our fertile imaginations.


Playing With Steve Mobia

I organized a burlesque show in the then abandoned Follies Theater.  I returned there in 2000 when my film “The Pain Game” premiered in that old burlesque house reopened as the Victoria Theatre.  Performers were my friends, since I was dancing at the now long gone Sutter Burlesque Theater.  That night the audience snuck into the dark old palace to watch the show holding their flashlights.  No one knew we were in or out and we left no trace. The excitement of our underground adventures fueled our imaginations and our libido….
I also loved avant-garde performances of the wild and magical kind such as Angel of Lights,  Mangrove, and Contraband .  Just a couple of weeks ago, when I saw that Sarah Shelton Mann, whose vision was Contraband, was performing at CounterPulse, produced by my dear friend Keith Hennessy, I got tickets, even though I was in the middle of my weekend Intensives.  And sure enough, “Sarah the Smuggler” brought me face to face, full circle if you will, with how much those times inspired me to become who I am now.

Improvisation, play dynamics, erotic images, strong emotions continue to fuel my desires.  In kink, our embodied fantasies become reality and we dare to take our energy to the resilient edge of intensity, where passion heals.  You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes… And those a-ha moments make my day!

A Mr. Gray look alike, this well-dressed gentleman came to my dungeon with his new lover. She had enjoyed bottoming with previous partners and encouraged him to explore his long repressed sadistic fantasies.

He took to flogging right away so I asked him if he wanted to try my paddle. As he takes it in his hand, she consents by offering her lovely derriere.  His first swing was over the top, an amazingly forceful blow!  She jumped, screamed and laughed. “I don’t hear your safeword, Miss!” I said, checking in.  He was beaming, eyes ablaze. Ah! Ha!

“Wow, you are sadistic aren’t you?” He practically jumped up and down like a horny school boy!  “Ok, he’s got the drive, I thought, he will need a bit of refinement.  Not a problem.  He kissed her long and deep and he bent her over my bondage table.  “Do you have any rubbers,” he asked?  My time to exit and let them finish their play.

Consent. Connection. Control. Surrender. Intimacy!  My message is really getting out this spring.  Several Dominant Men and Men who Switch are attending the June Intensive with their partners.

In kink with heart,

Cléo Dubois

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