The Wheel of Time
Greetings. I have been too busy to blog weekly lately. New venues opened for my teachings. From a delightful flogging video shoot for Kink University and a live class for BondCon to the wonderful folks I presented for at One Taste, I’m having a ball! It’s invigorating and truly an affirmation of my work coaching kinksters in mutually satisfying BDSM play.
This October, the Society of Janus celebrates its forty year anniversary. Janus was my gateway into the Scene some thirty years ago. I have the honor to be inducted in their Hall of Fame, and was recently interviewed for their newsletter. To turn an hour of recorded interview into a 1500 word piece was quite the job, as I really wanted to tell my story and acknowledge those who helped me along the way.
The Wheel of time……the Great Mistress of us all! Time for celebration, recognition and time for heavy losses too. This year I lost my mother… and the man who initiated me into the Scene as we used to think of our SM tribe. Jay Magus was an early Janus member and the creator of the New Tarot . His wife, Amber, and I continue to be dear friends. Also left this earth this month, Raelyn Gallina, body modification artist, pioneer piercer and vibrant kinkster, passed. For ten years she bravely fought breast cancer. Several other dear friends face severe health challenges.
I find solace in the body rituals of BDSM. It’s not therapy, but a cathartic flogging scene with a trusted partner sure can provide some relief from grief, that awful pain of the heart. At a recent private play party, I asked a long-time woman friend to flog me long and hard. I picked the floggers so I knew what i was in for. Well into it, I noticed I was on my tip toes against the Saint Andrew’s cross. A few feet away Fakir and my other lover were standing together lovingly witnessing. Being an abuse survivor, I knew I could take it. But that is not what I was looking for; it occurred to me that blows a bit lighter would soften me up.
I asked Neon to go a bit lighter with her bison flogger. And then she said, “I want you to say goodbye to your mother in french.” I resisted…to no avail. She ordered me again,”Say goodbye to your mother in french! Now. Again…and louder.”
“Au revoir, Maman” and “adieu. Maman,” I repeated until the gates that held my tears cracked open. I sobbed like I think I never have. A big cloud flew off, lifting any guilt away. Ah Maman, ah native language, ah release!
Thinking back about that Saturday evening, we did what I teach: I asked for what I wanted, we negotiated boundaries, set our space and went for it! Closure was sweet, too, with us lying on a mattress…giggling away coming down and still riding the endorphins. And voila! The energy we raised brought us closer. As Joan Rivers said in her PBS documentary, “Love is family.” I love my leather family.
In kink with heart,
Last day to register for the Erotic Dominance Intensive weekend for Women 40+ is Tuesday! Click here to enroll! The yearly Dominant Men and Men who Switch Intensive is November 22-23, 2014 . Click here to enroll! And for private consultations, initiations, rituals and guided play, click here to schedule an appointment!