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The Euro Twist

I give a lot of interviews and conduct a great many Q&A’s. Most folks want to know much the same things. Sometimes, though, an interviewer comes up with an unusual question. I just received the translation of an article published in Poland recently, titled “BDSM As A Practice.”

Luc asked me: When … or after what period of time [do] the practices of BDSM open “participants” to issues related to spirituality? Is it a process associated with an act of will – the attitude of participants, or rather does it flow from the biological consequences of these practices?  

White Bird & Cléo © Fakir

White Bird & Cléo © Fakir

I answered: From my 30 years experience working with masochists, submissives and sophisticated kinksters who switch, the spiritual experience is facilitated by how ritual of play is set up, the kind of input provided, the length of the input and the connection between partners. Prolonged flogging, play piercing – with sterile needles, energy hook pulls, fisting sessions for women and men tend to open folks to spirit and heart experiences [even your first time.]

but this opening is caused by physiological reactions like hormones or natural opiates and so on, OR more because of cultural context? or mix of both of it?

I think it is a mix, at core we all want power, acceptance and a chance to surrender at times. We want to have connection to our primal and spiritual self. They are not really separated. Society boxes them but we aim at seeing the bigger, more integrated picture. …Being more present in one’s body, having more pleasure, regardless of what pleasure looks like, as long as it is a safe and consensual journey of discovery.

A Couple of Leatherfolk © Cleo Dubois

A Couple of Leatherfolk © Cleo Dubois

He also asked:
Could you tell me something about leather/ rubber. It’s a bit shamanic situation when you put leather and evoke animistic energy. Did you have this kind of experience?

Yes, leather is primal. For most folks into it, it feels good, powerful, “outlaw.” Remember, leather chaps were for bikers!  As for latex, it has its own slick qualities.

Both these ways of dressing can be a fetish, but more often informs a play persona like suits dress up the businessman. Associated with sexuality and power, masks can be added for shamanic animal enhancements.

Some of our toys also call in primal energies like my buffalo flogger.

Momo & Me ©Mark I Chester

Momo & Me ©Mark I Chester

I had a shamanic experience with my singletail. His body is that of a real cobra from India. My beautiful pet python Momo died of cold as I had given her to a friend who promised to take care of her and did not. I felt terribly guilty about the death of that marvelous snake who adorns the cover of the groundbreaking book above, “Modern Primitives.” As I received the lashes on my back and asked Momo’s forgiveness I felt the presence of his spirit and released my guilt. I also have a small snake tattooed on my left side as a symbol of female power.

AND something no other interviewer has ever ask so directly:
If a woman who has been abused by a man or men, and has problems with her own sexuality and trust comes to you to cure her fears, taboos and hatred, in which way are you able to help her?

Much sexual healing can be experienced by doing BDSM with someone you trust. You need to know your boundaries and stay present. Some women will find healing being spanked on their own terms, others might want to reenact a rape her way and find reclaiming there. Unfortunately sexual abuse has been a reality for so many. Let me point out that BDSM practice is not therapy. It is a very different process. Both together work wonders in reclaiming one’s sexuality and learning pleasure again.

You’ll find other articles, podcasts, and pictures on and Listen to the latest podcast I’m on with Dr. Dick!  Hear part 1 here.  And part 2 here.  We had such fun!

In kink with heart,

Cléo Dubois

If you’re in the SF Bay Area this week, I’m presenting at LDG Wednesday night.  And if you’re here February 11, join me at the SF Citadel for Playful Sadism!  You know a little brattiness goes a long way!  Of course, meet me here every Saturday morning for a little kink with your koffee, no earlier than 10, ok?  Better yet, contact me for a little private play!

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