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Toys Toys Toys

I interrupt my story to bring you some simple shopping therapy.  It is that gift giving time of the year again. Before you fill your online basket with toys you cannot feel or try, let me share my thoughts with you on how to buy a quality BDSM toy.  I have yet to figure out all that affiliate program stuff, so I’m not making a penny on this free advice.

Whether it’s leather, rubber, wood or metal, the toy is there to enhance your mutually satisfying erotic energy.  It’s only as good as you are, not only at wielding it, but knowing why and where you want to go…together.  

I started this weekly blog exactly one year ago.  I  told you how I loved flogging and caning from the start!

If I had to have only one flogger, I would choose a soft leather cat. The top knot on the end of the flogger’s handle would rest comfortably in the palm of my hand.  When you put your wrist through the loop and just let it hang out for a minute, is it too heavy?  Too big or just right?  Just breathe.

Using just your wrist, slowly spin the flogger forward…then spin it the other way; now try doing a figure eight.  The tails should all rotate together.  Put out your hand and make contact.  Is it stingy or thuddy? The wider the tails of a leather flogger the less sting they will carry.  And which is more appropriate for you?

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A good flogging scene can take longer than 30 minutes and you will want to enjoy dancing with it in the palm of your hand.  

I suggest that you attend a local fetish fair or leather conference where toy makers from all over the country vend, since the venue lends itself perfectly to learning as well as buying.  And besides, you can try the goods before buying. There’s one 3 times a year in San Francisco and it’s always followed by the best BDSM party in town, the one and only Fandango!  Our next community exchange is right on time for Holiday shopping on Saturday, December 14!

Just in case you can’t try the goods in your hands, here are a couple of links to leather workers I trust: Chicago Toolworks, Joe Wheeler, and Leather by Danny who’s new site is under construction!

The next day, Sunday December 15, Fakir and I will be there for a play piercing ritual for winter solstice.  Come spend a kinky weekend at the SF Citadel Community Center before the end of the year gets filled with the vanilla side of your life.

Back to what really matters to me: BDSM play, next Saturday at 10AM.  A woman I’m mentoring discovers the differences between a dominant woman and a Dominatrix!

In kink with heart,

Cléo Dubois

My 2014 Academy of SM Arts Erotic Dominance Intensives include Dominatrix Training 3-Day Intensive January 24-26, The Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Men who Play with Women March 14-16, and The Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Women: Tops & Switches May 2-4.  Click here to enroll. Prefer privacy? Click here.

One Comment Post a comment
  1. Congratulations on your 1 year anniversary….that is a major commitment to have fulfilled…and with awesome content! Blessings, Galen

    December 7, 2013

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