Skip to content

The Road to Now: Spirit and Sex

Fakir in Kavadi Ritual   Photo by Charles Gatewood

Fakir in Kavadi Ritual Photo by Mark I Chester

Playing at the Catacombs, attending Janus and Outcasts programs was my early SM education. Fakir fascinated me by the esoteric and visually amazing self-practices he presented at Janus.  Borrowing Rites from ancient cultures like the Hindu Kavadi, Fakir created fire play ordeals he called “the kiss of fire,” or never seen before body piercings.  He was into connecting eroticism and spirit….and he was definitely into S/M.

I really wanted to feel everything: what it is like to be collared, to kneel, to obey, to resist, to try to be in bondage, to get flogged, caned, pierced or fisted. Volunteering to bottom for community demos gave me safe opportunities to do so.  I trusted the presenters like folks trust me now to share what I know.  And I wanted to have fun!

I remember escaping the too loose bondage Fakir had me in during an interrogation demo on electroplay (now called e-stim) at Fort Mason.  Sure was fun for me!!!


Mark Thompson Photo by Cléo Dubois

Of my close friend and mentor Mark Thompson, accomplished writer who edited “Leatherfolk,”  documenting the San Francisco and New York leather subculture, people, politics and practice, Fakir wrote: “Leatherfolk challenges the last taboo: use of the body and erotic energy to explore spirituality. Probably our first glimpse of the neo-tribal, fusion-oriented fourth phase of a cultural revolution that began in 1960s…”

I came to San Francisco to be part of that revolution. By 1983 I had met Mark and many of the leather pioneers published in Mark’s wonderful book!

C&R TuxW

© Cléo Dubois

In 1986, the film “Dances Sacred and Profane“ featuring Fakir, Jim Ward and Charles Gatewood premiered at the Roxie theater in San Francisco.  I hosted the release party at the Valencia Rose.

Later that evening I invited Fakir for a little night cap in my flat on Valencia Street.  Daring young Domina that I was, seducing him was on my mind!  Writer and friend Joseph Bean had named him  “magical masochist.” I wanted to find out for myself.  Little did I know he would become my life partner.

My interests in piercing furthered my presence in the piercing salons held at Radical Sex Photographer MarkChester’s, where I met other folks into S/M, sex and spirit. Seekers of deep experiences, shamanism flavored our play practices and rites.

We contributed to the community as we saw fit.

Photo by Mark Rosen

Sybil and Bill Photo from “Sexual Portraits” by Michael Rosen

My dear, long-time friend and sister in kink and personal growth, Sybil Holiday, wrote “Consensual Sadomasochism” with William Henkin.  She shed light with her infinite patience on fetishes and gender realities I did not understand and has kept our friendship alive for now 30 years.

This blog is my practice in sharing the magic of all these connections.  My Intensives are my hands-on modern day mystery school.  And Fakir and I continue offer Spirit + Flesh full day energy hook pull rituals twice a year in San Francisco .

Part 3 on the Road to Now: Heart and Mind next Saturday at 10am.

In kink with heart,

Cléo Dubois

 Eager to dive into this erotic pool? I coach couples in the privacy of my dungeon and offer Erotic Dominance Intensives to small groups of 8 in San Francisco! We can even Skype about it!

No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: