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The Road to Now

BLW Group Hug

Photo by Michael Rosen

If you have been reading my blog, you know sexual diversity has always attracted me despite my very anti gay french upbringing. San Francisco was my ticket to freedom. Follow me down memory lane and meet my mentors.

In 1980, KQED-TV, the San Francisco Public Broadcasting channel, produced and ran “S/M One Foot Out Of the Closet, ” a documentary by young reporter Phil Bronstein.  It  was the first time that any television program showed viewers what the ‘real world of SM’ was like!  It was an eye opener or rather just a wink, as it only aired once and did not make the NPR network.

leatherman's hndbkAs Jack Fritscher writes, “after WWII, leather exploded into pop culture with the dark glamour of Hollywood, the Hell’s Angels, and Andy Warhol’s Exploding Plastic Inevitable featuring The Velvet Underground with Lou Reed singing, ‘Shiny Boots of Leather.’’  It’s a good thing for all of us that a lot of these pioneers wrote about their radical sexuality as they blazed the trail.

My First?  Larry Townsend.  I know I was not the only woman devouring the SM Bible, “The Leatherman’s Handbook.” (1972) I learned Leatherman meant “gay male Top.” I also learned about voluntary servitude and fetishistic behaviors, and the code of conduct the underground leatherfolk were adopting then.  The many anecdotes of steamy real life kink are still great reads!

Geoff MainsL

Geoff Mains Photo by Mark Thompson

 I had the pleasure to meet Geoff Mains, a handsome soft spoken gentleman, the first to point out the connection between brain chemistry and players’ ecstatic states.

He and Fakir shared a common vision, “the fusion of tribal subcultures on a journey marked by fetish and mana, shaman, ritual and trance.  “Urban Aboriginals” was way ahead of its time for clearly defining a significant transformation in western culture.”

Geoff elegantly wrote “With radical sex you can become more aware of self value.” Through intimate encounters using pain-pleasure, bondage, and role-play, leather can bring a shift of consciousness.”  The week of his death he received the galleys of his last book “Gentle Warriors.”

His friend Mark Thompson (editor of “Leatherfolk“) called him a rebel and idealistic iconoclast. “Non rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien” he  alluded in his last writings . (Edith Piaf – no regrets!) Ecstatic sexual pain/pleasure journeys do connect us to spirit.  l have no regrets either, rebel and warrior Queen that I am!


Patrick Califia Photo by Mark I. Chester

In those days, I had a BIG crush on Pat Califia. A prolific writer and brilliant speaker, Califia defined gender bending to a T.  “Macho Slut”  turned me on.  Unconventional, mixing genders, fetishes and fearless sexual explorations.  I attended classes Pat (now Patrick) gave for the women’s group, Outcasts, and was fascinated by her style. She was fond of saying she liked to make girls cry! That did not stop me from bottoming to her at a play party, nor would it stop me from playing with him now!  As I see it, one does not have to have the same sexual orientation as their play partner.

I could not have been in better company!  What a privilege it was for me to be welcomed and valued at their sacred rites of leathersex!  I am deeply grateful.  What I said to two young men tying each other up recently at Mission Control is true, “you don’t have to be a gay man to play with men!”  It”s about sharing the energy we build together.

In kink with heart,

Cléo Dubois

Next Saturday, how sex met spirit on The Road to Now Part 2.  Eager to dive into this erotic pool? I coach couples in the privacy of my dungeon and offer Erotic Dominance Intensives to small groups of 8 in San Francisco! We can even Skype about it!

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