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Riding That Train


Onboard the Skunk Train
© Cléo Dubois

I just celebrated one of these BIG birthdays complete with a symbolic steam locomotive train ride in the coastal woods of Northern California and of course, I had to submit to the traditional spanking! That’s not to say I did not enjoy my party!  I do love being the center of attention of my loving leather family.  For me these time markers also are about reflection.  I see my path as evolving illumination over a lifetime of close erotic encounters with a large number of individuals, alone or with their partners.

Accepting my status as one of those “old guard” almost pioneers along with my heroes: Mark Thompson, Patrick Califia, Joseph Bean, Dossie Easton and others, it’s not a question of “is kink leather? or is leather kink?”  It’s that no matter what it was for we who paved the way, few of the settlers who have joined us know or care what leather is.  And that’s what settlers do…make it “normal,” inclusive, and okay.  Mainstreaming, emasculating, some might say.

What matters to me is that we pass along the heat, heart and passion Leather personifies to the people choosing to play with it.  Presence, clear communication, ethics & skills.

Dare I also mention the code of honesty and powerful healing our lifestyle can bring?  That has been my experience along our “twisted” path, as well as a rich and reclaimed sexuality for sure!

imagesI never thought from my rigid, anti-sex, anti-queer, and anti-non traditional gender role upbringing that my life would turn out about as opposite as it could be. My younger sister sent me birthday wishes from her born-again point of view, adding her concern about my residence in the next world.  I was tempted to send her one of these T-shirts that say, “Come to the dark Side, we have cookies!”

My kinky path has been one of liberation.  It led me to reclaim desire, allowing me to choose love over fear, enjoyment over endurance, and cultivate the spirituality and sexuality my life needed.

As I start to prepare to teach the November Weekend intensive for Women 45+, I hope our students will embrace their aliveness in freedom and explore all the facets of their erotic selves.  Along my leather journey, I have gained a deeper sense of self.  From the kinky closet of those who can’t come out yet to my open community, I know that we all need acceptance, pleasure and the kind of connections that bind us with those we love, top and/or bottom.


All Aboard! © Cléo Dubois

Sharing the magic of erotic power exchange is both my passion and my work; I am grateful for and honored by those who seek my expertise and guidance. For me, sacred kink is not a concept, it is the tangible reality of the erotic energy circle.  What goes around, comes around.

In kink with heart and leather pride,

Cléo Dubois

Ready to explore your kink? I coach couples in the privacy of my dungeon and offer Erotic Dominance Intensives to those eager to dive into this erotic pool.  Curious or confused about kink, let’s Skype about it. Already there and wanting more? There’s room for you at the Nov. 9-10 Erotic Dominance Intensive for Women 45+ Click here for details!

2 Comments Post a comment
  1. I am curious to know what you want most when you venture in exploring kinky fantasies with a trusted partner? Or what keeps you from doing so? Please post here or email me at
    In kink with heart

    October 19, 2013
  2. Cheryl #

    Happy birthday! My father reminds me that at my age it’s the ones ending in fives and zeros that become memorable until we get older then every day is a blessing! May all your days be blessings.

    October 19, 2013

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