Walking through this changing San Francisco neighborhood to Mission Control on a warm October evening, I am blown away by the fancy eateries featuring fares from all over the world that pop up every day! The defunct progressive New College has been replaced by a hot nightspot and there’s a chocolate confiserie right next door! Sheet metal condos have sprouted where Victorian homes once stood. The rents are sky high! There’s the big white shiny Google bus stopping at the corner. The streets are being overtaken by the influx of our tech savvy children, and in some cases, grandchildren.
When I lived there and created my first dungeon in “the Mission”; it was an affordable neighborhood filled with artists and sexual outliers. Anyone even remember The Valencia Rose? The early queer cabaret is now a hi-end restaurant. Osento, the one and only bathhouse for women is gone too. Few iconic places remain; Amnesia, the gypsy bar I frequented after secret BDSM sessions in my Valencia Street playroom, and until now, the area’s best kept secret, Mission Control.
I was there Saturday having just heard that after 14 years, their landlord would not renew their lease. What a loss for the sex positive community!
Starting with Kinky Salon, Mission Control’s vision has grown to include a variety of themed events, decorating each room to encourage dancing, flirting and more. Their PAL system (pervy activity liaison) ensures that all partygoers are better able to navigate and negotiate responsibly. Now that’s smart! I had volunteered to be dungeon guide in their sexy little playroom.
There on the couch, a young woman in a see-through gown needed a kinky touch to enhance her outfit and I had just the soft rope! Adorned with a simple chest harness, I sent her off to show her friends how regal she looked. She returned with her fiancé and asked me for a flogging. Her first. Of course I had to oblige!
Starting with a sweet warm-up, I asked “Are you okay?” “sure,” was the reply. “Would you like more?” “sure, why not,” she said. I kept up the rhythm for a bit before I said, “do you want to please me?” “of course” “ Well if you want to please me, and you want more what do you think the magic word might be?” The whole room exploded in laughter as she meekly replied, “Please.” She also agreed to use my number scale, 1-10, establishing our on-going negotiation. When the intensity was a 5, I seduced her to want to go to 6… and on we went climbing that ladder of trust and sensation together under the eyes of her companion.
I’m always asked how you know when it’s time to stop. I wanted her first flogging to leave her wanting more. When I sense that she had almost had enough, I stopped. She was beaming and grateful. Made me happy too!
Her fiancé wanted to feel my cane. I started very lightly and noticed the big smile on his face. Soon he politely asked me to give him a few hard ones, like I had during my demo. I asked him if he would take 3 of my best, he said, “yes Madame.” There I was playing with newbies negotiating in the moment led by body responses and a little protocol.
I am wondering where will these open-minded, sexy young folks go to mingle and taste the various flavors of consensual kink? Times have changed, not everyone wants to belong to a SM club. That night this very pretty 30-something woman quietly said to me, “I don’t know what you mean by kinky, all sexual expression is normal to me.”
Isn’t there space among the eateries, bars and new condos for an oasis of responsible sexy pleasure?
It is a sadness that the gentrification of our beautiful San Francisco is pushing out so many of the community entrepreneurs of funk and freedom. I hope other opportunities will open up and soon! I will miss these parties. Long live Mission Control!
In kink with heart,
PS: I will definitely be at Mission Control November 2! When I’m not coaching couples privately in my playroom or teaching Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensives in San Francisco, my rituals include tending my garden and cooking! Skype me…