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Kink Is Ok!


The leather flags are unfurled on Folsom Street in San Francisco.  It is Leather Pride month and mine has already started!  Last night I was on SexOutLoud Radio with Tristan Taormino  and we had a blast talking about my leather roots, kink today and sex!  Tristan and I have presented at many National Leather Conferences over the years!  Just click on the link to hear our conversation!

And I just found out a docu-film called “Folsom Forever”  is going to screen at the Roxie Theater Tuesday September 24…  and I am in it!  If you’re in town, join me for the film and a panel discussion too, with Race Bannon, Gayle Rubin, filmmaker Mike Skiff and more!  And, it’s free!  So much to do, so many to see in the flesh on the streets of our community.

35e5e55aWe Leatherfolks love to meet, party, play and put on our best.  Friend and leather photographer, Mark I Chester will again host his annual open studio Mark takes digital portraits of you “cheap and uncensored” on Saturday, September 28 from 2-5pm and Sunday, September 29, from 11am-6pm. Click on the picture to see all the details!

The Folsom Street Fair is in its 30th year but BDSM was not always OK in the USA.  Now it is. The DSM-5 says Kink is OK. I cannot help thinking about how far we’ve come with relatively quiet activism.  Why should you care? If you have children, it is now less likely that they could be taken away from you because of your kink!  In fact, my husband’s brother lost custody of his boys as his wife used his bondage interests against him in court in the 80s.

Safe Sex

Cléo in the streets in 1986 and now in ” Folsom Forever”
Photo by Mark Thompson

‘The American Psychiatric Association has finally depathologized kinky sex – including cross-dressing, fetishes, and BDSM – in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). Now the paraphilias are considered to be “unusual sexual interests.

We’ve already seen the impact – NCSF immediately saw a sharp rise in the success rate of child custody cases for kinky parents after the proposed DSM-5 criteria was released three years ago.’”

‘The APA has made it clear that being kinky is not a mental disorder, that means people no longer have to fear being diagnosed as mentally ill just because they belong to a BDSM group.

So that’s a big deal!   We HAVE come a long way and we are proud.

That doesn’t mean our path is automatically safe, sane and consensual!  It’s a good idea to set up a “safe call” at a specific time with a close friend who knows you are on that first kinky play date. Don’t get confused by the fantasy stories you read or believe everything you hear in chat rooms. Bottom line, just because you are kinky doesn’t mean you lose your common sense.

There is a little shy or blatant exhibitionist in most of us.  I encourage you take a class, meet other kinksters at a munch or play party, visit your local dungeon, and play!  Get out there and feel the joys and challenges of live, in-person, real time play in the safety of community.

Especially now that kink and BDSM are okay.  OK?

In Kink and Leather Pride with Heart,

Cléo Dubois

When I’m not blogging about my own rich experiences in the SF Leather Community,  I coach couples in the privacy of my dungeon and offer Erotic Dominance Intensives to small groups of 8 in San Francisco!  We can even Skype  about it!   

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