I love my computer, my laptop, my iPhone. The Internet is really amazing; everything at your finger tips….except the touch of another human being. For that, we need to be in the actual physical presence of at least one other, especially if we want to explore our erotic core. (The photo in this blog is not of the actual participants in the scene I’m about to describe; it is owned and copyrighted by me.)
I am currently mentoring a gentleman whose BDSM information was all from the net, a confusing mixed bag for sure! During our first consultation, we clicked! Impressed with his ethics and ability to negotiate honestly, I showed him a simple collaring ritual and basic flogging skills.
He came back for more, this time with a willing play partner who had already explored her kink some.
On his second visit, I wanted this Master in Training to go beyond proper technique and respect of pre-negotiated limits.
Could he get out of his head and feel the energy exchange? Play really is about the quality of human connection and erotic interaction.
Lila is a voluptuous brunette, sexy with an athletic bent and a direct gaze. She trusted her Top and as for me, she said,
“Your reputation precedes You! One of my friends said You come from a place of love.” And I do, because in the games of control and surrender we embrace, that is a place of acceptance and loving intimacy.
What followed was a wonderful experience for us all! She loves costumes which she called “cosplay,” a new term for me! “Do you ever feel younger than you really are when you bottom,” I ask. She blushes and giggles just like a sassy schoolgirl. Short pleated skirt, white shirt a bit too tight on her round breasts, girlie panties and a bow in her hair, an easy transformation.
Often role play will open the door and let you hang up your inhibitions like an old coat. We do not have to be PC in the characters we choose to embody. Tops and bottoms alike.
It is a game of call and response. Spontaneity rules.
Lila visited her teenage landscape, with an avalanche of tears, grimaces and uncontrollable giggles as we tickled, flogged her back and ass and tormented her nipples. When she was done “fussing,” she descended into sub space. Her arousal was clearly obvious as “Master” caressed her.
The energy in my little dungeon shifted to sweetly electric and very quiet. There we were, the three of us together in that deep place where BDSM is magic. When we found a closure for our play, he whisked her out into the night to continue their lovemaking.
These a-ha moments often require a little more than aftercare. I contacted Lila the day after. She more than welcomed a little process about having discovered the depth of her subspace. I wanted to make sure her exploration with “Master” and re-entry to her daily personality left her centered and strong.
Want to take your partner there? Sharing the beauty of that kind of dynamic heart connection is just one reason I love my life!
In kink with heart,
I love to coach couples interested in the eroticism of mutually satisfying BDSM play and teach weekend Intensives in San Francisco. Skype consultations also available! Read a new real story here every Saturday at 10am! Stir your imagination.