The Shaman, The Trickster, and Me
Some 30 years ago I met Fakir at the famed “Chateau” during a Society of Janus class. He always ended his presentations with a demo, often an exotic body practice of pain/pleasure, and that I found fascinating! A slender man with glasses, a dry sense of humor and a great ability to share his body explorations, he asked who wanted to slide their index finger through his enlarged pierced nipples. I just had to volunteer! A ring of flesh around my index finger. Little did I know then that he would someday put a wedding ring on my finger!
While my playground was the Catacombs, SF’s private Leathermen SM and fisting Temple, he was into piercings, branding, sensory deprivation and shamanic rituals inspired by other cultures. Fakir had done the Sundance and O-kee-pa ceremonies and one such magical ordeal was recorded in the film Dances Sacred and Profane.
In 1986 when the film premiered at the Roxie Theater in San Francisco, I offered to organize a reception for him. I wanted to get to know him better. What I did not see coming was falling in love with him that very night! Not with the man himself, but with his archetypal self on the screen as he was suspended out of his body by hooks off a cottonwood tree!
He, the magical man and shy exhibitionist, and me, the flamboyant French Domina, I had to pursue him. We both fell in love with who we portrayed and we married, witnessed by our leather tribe, in a beautiful redwood grove in the summer of 1990.
Our priests were our friends Ganymede, a leather faerie, and Jim Ward who co-created modern body piercing with Fakir.
It took a long time and a lot of fine tuning to love the everyday us! While the leatherman of my dreams he is not, he is my lifemate. The bigness of his heart and spirit and commitment continues to enrich each day.
And today is his birthday and next week marks our 23 years together! Happy Birthday, my dearest, and Happy Anniversary!
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