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A Bit Over The Top!

Cleo Dubois, My First Scene, My First Love, courtesy of SFSI and

I started this weekly blog four months ago.  I hope you enjoyed some of my stories and found a bit of kinky wisdom there, one of the many gifts of experience.

Since I have been in the  San Francisco leather community almost from its start, let me tell you a bit more about this picture I posted here in December.  Back in 1981, leatherwoman Cynthia Slater, founder of the Society of Janus, invited me to a party.

I had just come out into SM, collared my first “slave” and I was eager to show off my leather harness designed and stitched by Kathy, the original Stormy Leather! It turned out to be a SFSI costume party, not a BDSM event, more a mingle/dance/flirt party.  My “pet/slave” and I might have been a bit over the top, but Juliet Anderson loved it!  Do you recognize her?  Maybe I should call her Aunt Peg?   She was a pioneer in the sex positive community!

Now here’s the full monty! NSFW

juliet photo

At that  time I took a lot of risks I was not aware of and stepped on a few toes with my stilettos!  Ah, the hubris of youth! If you wanted to date me, you had to be my slave!  I wrote about the dare I gave my lover in “First Love, First Top Scene.” As it turned out, michael was a sexy pet, sometimes a pussy cat and sometimes a tiger…never a slave!

Knowing who you are playing with is almost as important as knowing who you are and key to those hot healing erotic exchanges we’re all pleasured by.  Today, three decades later, that’s my style of BDSM instruction: negotiation and nuance, confidence and connection, fluid and in the moment.

My thanks to Gloria Brame, who suggested that I had lots of photos you’d love to see when I saw her just last week!  Gloria interviewed me for her groundbreaking book, “Different Loving,” in 1990. Next Saturday at 10am, I’ll tell you what I’ve been known to do at a play party…once or twice!

In Kink with Heart,

Cléo Dubois

When not struggling with the sophisticated torments of social media, I consult, instruct, coach and connect with other kinky folks looking for a rich and authentic erotic life.  

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