Laughter in the Dungeon!
Recently I went to lunch with two very good longtime friends Sybil Holiday and Mark I Chester. Sybil and I were roommates in the 80s, hosted ground breaking mixed play parties and created our first professional dungeon together. Twenty years later, we also started the Erotic Dominance Intensives, now in their 12th year!
With radical sex photographer Mark I. Chester, we created bondage performances and kink theater, attended countless avant garde queer events in the then underground leather mile that was South of Market. I was blessed to pose for his camera. His images, like the one above, helped launch my burgeoning Mistress career.
So there’s a lot of water under our bridges! And love and deep respect too!
As our friend Patrick Califia has written, “the first responsibility of a revolutionary is to survive.” And here we are! To this day, Mark offers visitors to SF’s Folsom Street Fair a chance to be photographed in their best gear! We are still part of the mutual admiration society but OMG, does he tease the hell out of me!
And, as Mark reminded Sybil and me at lunch, he flogged us during one of our Serpent Mountain (SM) play party. “You both knew that you cared about each other and liked each other, but you were driving each other crazy and couldn’t find a way to get past all the crap.
You both wanted suggestions on how you could get past it and move on. I suggested that I whip you both as a kind of joke and was surprised when you both thought it was a good idea.”
“I remember the two of you laying down on mats. I don’t remember tying you together, but that would have made sense in the greater scheme of what we were doing. I flogged you both and then caned you both. I definitely started slow with flogging and built it up to more intense caning. If my memory serves (although maybe it is just the fantasy of my memory), I had you each say things that pissed you off about the other and then I smacked the person saying it. <eg> As things got intense, you both *shared* the energy and it definitely did change your spaces about it all.”
Mark did tie us up side to side, really close to each other! Two dommes flogged by one gay man. What a great atonement ritual! And just my cup of tea! I owe much to the Leathermen who friended and mentored me.
That was the right kind of “tune up” for two strong controlling Women who needed to clear the air between them about all the little stuff roomates drive each other crazy with. “You ate my yogurt,” or “my last piece of pie ” again, or “you bitch or you woke me up at 2AM once more with your spike heels clicking down the hall”! I think he brought our scene to a close with a few great “hit and drag “strokes of his long tailed heavy buffalo flogger. We ended up laughing our heads off and sharing big hugs! SM can be so healing!
While our play was improvised, it was a ritual with a specific intent. By engaging in such a ritual, we shared the purpose and desired outcome…. and it worked!
In Kink with Heart,
When I’m not writing my blog and learning more about social media, I love to mentor couples interested in the eroticism of mutually satisfying BDSM play and also teach weekend Intensives in San Francisco. Skype consultations also available!