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If You Make Me Do It!


Many of us got bullied as we grew up and endured non-consensual humiliation as kids. These become our “buttons” as adults; some hold turn-on value while others can never be erotic. For example, I do not know a single woman who enjoys being humiliated over the shape of her body!

You might want to be a “piggy bottom” Saturday night but you expect respect at brunch on Sunday!

For Bruce, one of the straight male bottoms in service to the Women’s Intensives I teach in San Francisco, what I ordered him to do in front of eight Dominant Women made him whimper, blush and get hard all at once!

Here’s how it went:

"The Slut" Photo by Cleo Dubois

“The Slut”
Photo by Cleo Dubois

It was time for my demo with “The Slut.” ” Slut” is a vision to behold in a black bustier, opera gloves and gold pumps, head shaved and proud. I hear the women gasp as he sashays across the room, kneeling politely at my feet. No matter what I ask, he obeys.  He can eagerly swallow an  8 inch “Jeff Striker” silicone dick suctioned at the center of my beautiful mirrored tray. As he is about to take it in his mouth, I catch the look on Bruce’s face!

“Come here, Bruce…OK. Now face ‘The Slut’…Slut: stop and look at me… Do you find sucking dildo humiliating?”
The Slut looks up and speaks his truth. “Well, Madame, not really.”
I turn to Bruce.  Kneeling, he is staring at the tray, and he looks really uncomfortable, perhaps anticipating my next move. I reach around and pull his hair back, “Give me your eyes, Bruce.” His cheeks turn bright  pink. “Bruce, I want you to open your mouth and lower your lips over the head of this big dick. You have NO permission to suck it. Understood?”

“Bruce, you are finding this very humiliating, aren’t you?” He nods yes. “Oh, really? And what if I shove your head down and make you suck it? You would do it, would you not?” His voice is  almost a whimper.  “Yes, Madame, if YOU make me do it.”  I push his head down on it and he takes it deep in his mouth.

Every woman in the room is turned on as Bruce loses himself in the task, head bouncing up and down on the symbolic cock.

During our post scene discussion, he confesses, “being forced to do it and knowing the women were watching got me hard. It was embarrassing and yet it was hot. Women making me suck dick, I can go there.”  “You are not the only one,” I almost added to his discovery.

My friend and fellow Dominant Steen from Denmark puts it this way: “A good scene should make both persons stronger. The sub should become proud, energized, liberated, even when I’m humiliating her. From teasing and exhibition to loss of freedom and bodily control, sexual helplessness and availability, I convey to her that this kind of erotic humiliation is necessary for her to give up control, self-consciousness, ego and be liberated in her sexual desires and journey into pain and ecstasy. That the goal of the humiliation is her liberation, and that I respect her desire for submission, not as something that reduces her worth – quite the opposite.”

Be cautious, though!  Erotic power exchange focusing on humiliation can be a dangerous weapon.  Unlike cuts and bruises, you can’t see psychological wounds and they take a lot longer to heal. Make sure to find a clean closure and bring the submissive back to his/her own dignity once your scene is over.  Sweet appreciation might make re-entry go smoother.

In Kink with Heart,

Cleo Dubois

When I’m not writing my blog and learning more about social media, I love to mentor couples interested in the eroticism of mutually satisfying BDSM play as well as teach weekend Intensives in San Francisco. Visit both www.sm-arts.com and www.cleodubois.com for video clips, podcasts, articles, resources and more. 
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