Stoking The Fires!
Every scene we play is a dance of erotic improvisation where each step carries consent.
When I push a submissive to take a little more for me, I often whisper in their ears “I am not hearing your safeword.”
Armed with two safewords, yellow for “please check with me,” and red for “STOP,” any new Top can proceed with confidence. Know there is no shame or blame for using them. Recently, a couple came to me for guidance. They wanted to stretch their limits, more than a bit.
During our negotiations, George was enthusiastic about Juliet’s resistance play fantasy. In her 30’s with the toned body of a dancer, she knew she had an inner rebel who needed to be taken down and ravished by her lover. He felt pretty confident that he could get into it, although it wasn’t his usual style. A quiet cultured man in his forties, he was willing to let out and explore an aggressive macho side of play because it was such a big fantasy of hers. He just was not sure he trusted himself to keep things safe in the heat of the moment. They wanted me as witness for their safety.
I could feel their charged energy the moment they entered my office. Her eyes were afire. I asked George to go to my dungeon and center himself. She started to resist even as I led her to him, naked and collared on a short lead, despite her loud pleas, “no, no, don’t take me there.” It took both of us to secure her wrists and ankles to the frame of my rope web. She was feisty indeed!
“Starting with a good slap on her face, George moved on to smacking her breasts and thighs with his open hand. She flared her anger at him, pulling as hard as she could against her restraints. He called her a brat for fighting back. He then picked up a short cane and kept going! Her groans were really angry growls now. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, ” she barked at him.
He bellowed back, “you know the rule, the more you fight the harder it gets.” I had to raise my own voice to say, “I do not hear any safewords, no shame using them Miss, or you could just calm down and be a good girl now.” She ignored both our advice; obviously she hadn’t had enough yet!
Indeed, George knew how to be relentless. Suddenly he stopped and put his hand between her legs and found her soaking wet. “So it turns you on when I slap you, doesn’t it, you slut! You are toying with me, aren’t you, girl? You want it, don’t you?”
Grabbing her brown hair, looking straight into her eyes, he slapped her one more time. Just as I was about to step in, George took a step back, breathed deeply, and deliberately reached for both her nipples and squeezed them hard.. Their eyes locked, “enough,” I heard him say in a deep and serious tone “No more. You’re mine.”
“Yes Sir”, she softly replied as she melted in surrender. We untied her quickly and George sat her on the carpeted floor and put her head on his lap. “Good girl. I love you so much,” he whispered. I left them alone to bring their scene to a close of his choosing.
15 minutes later, they joined me in my office to share about what had happened during their resistance play. He admitted that he scared himself a bit. “While I was repeatedly slapping Juliet’s face I felt a part of me I did not like come out, and I almost called RED. It felt very dark and I was glad you were here. I knew you would not let me get out of control.”I assured him that his timing and intuition were right on.
We all have a darker side that we need to control. I call it the inner dungeon monitor. I do not play in anger or disgust.
“Please be gentle with each other and honor the journey you just shared,” and when you revisit that place together again remember to listen to your inner dungeon monitor as you go primal. And you, “young lady,” remember your safeword and that stopping to resist is its own indication that you have reached your limit.”
They walk to the car holding hands. I love my work.
In Kink with Heart,