What? Me Surrender…
Dominant is my primary mode of operation. That is where I live. I pay attention not only to the energy but also to every detail when I play.
But when I, “the almighty caring sadistic Top,” got on my knees, I found it a real challenge to give up control. A pretty good masochist bottom I can be, but submit? A tall order I struggled with!
My long awaited private visits to His leather dungeon are one of the highlights of my erotic life. In my bottoming to Rob, I get to let out a side of myself that still has the power to surprise me! A true Leatherman who knows in the moment how to craft a scene into an improvised and passionate pas de deux.
Rob had asked me if I had any requests for this visit. I did not. I trust him. I also know that several times during our play he will simply look me in the eyes and say: Are you OK? I have never had to answer no. Every time we connect it is hot sex magic!
So here I was on my knees with the task of unlacing His boots, taking them off, undoing His belt, unzipping his leather jeans, taking them off. And of course, putting His boots back on and lacing them properly, just the way He likes with the long laces neatly tucked under the top of his impeccably shined footwear.
Sigh! He could see I was going through the motions, but could He tell “do I really have to?” was what I was asking myself. In a calm voice He said, “Girl, when my ‘boys’ attend to my boots in the dungeon, they honor the power of that simple ritual I enjoy. What is all the fussing about?”
There was no smile, even in His eyes. I took a deep breath, centered myself and all of a sudden, I got it. To focus on him, NOT on me. This was not the time to look for his attention or seek his approval. Here was the key to the door I really wanted to go through! Submit.. I focused all my attention on the task at hand.
Suddenly I realized how fucking turned on I was, on my knees, ass in the air, fingers neatly lacing up the thin leather cord through the grommets. No other thought in my mind. Focusing on the ritual of lacing his boots for Him as perfectly as I could allowed me to taste a timeless moment of surrender, so sweet and free. The simple service He asked of me was the gift that allowed my inner submissive to come out!
It takes two to Tango.
Connected play also starts with trust, negotiation and skill. But being present in the dance of subtle and intense energy exchanges moment to moment is where the magic appears.Let us not let modern life rob us of what matters most! Sexual rituals of intimacy are some of the most precious gifts we can offer and receive. May pleasure be yours; vanilla and kinky, subtle and intense this Holiday Season and beyond.